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heart writing, My Lifey

When An Unforgettable Summer Ends // A Short Life Update

September 12, 2017

“It’s the oldest story in the world.
One day you’re seventeen and planning for someday,
and then quietly, without you ever really noticing, 
someday is today, and that someday is yesterday
and this is your life.”

| n a t h a n    s c o t t |

 

 

Oh my, this long neglected little corner. I’m surprised it still lets me log in and doesn’t boot me out with a “Sorry, we’ve forgotten your username, please try again later.”

But if ever I had a good excuse for playing hooky, it would be these past few months.
I know I’ve used this excuse before so I’m probably loosing credibility with it, but let me give you a brief window into my recent life and let you draw your own conclusions.

A P R I L  2017  >> About exactly a week after I scribbled my last post,  I got engaged (eeeek!) to my long time childhood friend and love, Luke. I could gush on and on here, but I’ll keep it short for now *wink*. He totally surprised me with the most sentimental proposal ever at one of my favorite spots, the Chattanooga Choo Choo. I’ll have to post our proposal story soon as a whole separate post of it’s own, because it will need it’s own word space. Needless to say my April 22nd on was pretty much spent completely in the clouds.

 

 

 

 

 

M A Y 2017  >>    Family high school graduations, beach vacations, the start of wedding planning and engagement pictures. The merry month just flew by, such a fun start to the summer, it was a packed month! Oh yes, and I was still in the I-just-got-engaged clouds.

 

 

 

 

 

 

J U N E  2017  >> Wedding planning. Getting to sit down and finally plan a wedding with all my dream Pinterest boards open was so surreal! Getting to choose a color palette, style, outfits, food and decor. It was so fun, and a little overwhelming at times even though I chose to do the “simple, small wedding” route. But what a fun season of my life it was.

 

 

J U L Y  2017  >> Packing up all my *cough* many belongings, and active wedding planing. Nothing triggers emotions more than packing up a bedroom which you’ve shared with your two sisters all your life, boxing up your office/studio and moving to a place without your family which you’ve lived and breathed with for your whole 20 years. There were so many “Oh my gooosh, is this really happening? I’m so EXCITED” days, and there were also the “Am I really doing this, and leaving home and getting married?” days. All such good emotions, but definitely threw this sentimental girl for a loop sometimes. I’ll always look back on those days with sweet savoring.

 

 

A U G U S T 2017  >> Wedding of my dreams and marrying the love of my life. When three months of wedding planning is finally done, family and friends surround you, and your wedding day dawns as the most gorgeous day in August, and you get to marry your best friend, it truly was the best day ever. I will do a post on our wedding day soon and share more of our beautiful wedding photos taken by the amazing Allix Ruby. August also saw us honeymooning for the first time/out of the country for the first time in my long dreamed of trip to P.E.I  Canada, and coming home to start a new life as a wifey in our little city apartment in Chattanooga, TN. (detailed posts coming soon).

 

 

Which brings us to today, S E P T E M B E R  2017.
So,  I am so tickled and happy to be back writing in this little corner and for the first time in my new home… a little apartment across the river from the bustling Chattanooga, TN. I’m back from our honeymoon travels and this crazy transition of moving, marrying, and becoming a wife. Now I just can’t wait to jot down all these stories to share. I have quite a few of them coming your way in the next couple o’ weeks.

The smell of fresh muffins made in my new muffin tins just came out of the oven, I made a walk to our little P.O. box to check our mail, and now I’m happily situated on our new couch amidst the throw pillows with my laptop writing these stories down to share with you.

It’s been the very happiest summer of my life, complete with every kind of emotion that comes with the territory of big life transitions.
It’s crazy to think the summer is ending, and with it my days as a single girl. I welcome autumn, as a new season in a new season of my life, living admidst a new city with lots of new things to learn and explore.

So much new, it’s exciting and daunting at the same time. I long to hold on to past days, and to hold on to even these new exciting days as a newlywed forever. But I’ve been realizing something, if we always just held on to old sweet memories, we would never go make new amazing ones.

“… go have a new adventure.”
| e l l i e ,  from UP |

 So here’s to the new; new seasons of the year, of life, and new seasons of memories.
It’s been a completely unforgettable summer.

How was your summer? What memories will forever be etched in your heart from April-August?

I’m so happy to be back!

always,
A  B  B  Y

Photo l o c a t i o n s: 

#1: Charlottetown Yacht Club, Charlottetown PEI Canada
#2-#5: Chattanooga Choo Choo
#6-#8: Navarre Beach, Florida
#9: Walnut Street Bridge, Chattanooga, Tennessee
#12-#13: Sunset Rock, Lookout Mountain, Tennessee

heart writing

Dear Nineteen Me. . .

January 10, 2017

“… stepping over the divide between childhood and all that lays beyond.”

| jo march. little women |

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     Dear nineteen me,
Today, you are one sleep away from turning the page to twenty.

Yes, I’m talking to you.

You, the little girl who itched at the thought of when this day would come. The girl who had all sorts of dreams in a wacky imagination of what would happen before today arrived.  The girl who thought that arriving at twenty would be full of all-grown-up and all-put-together feels. Oh silly you. You feel anything but this.

Nineteen. The year you were learning to trust, choosing to rest, being surprised every day with the unexpected and embracing it.  It’s been the bookend to a childhood you wouldn’t (and couldn’t) have traded for a million diamonds or anything just as valuable. You weren’t easy. In fact, there were many times when you believed you wouldn’t live a harder year. But it’s amazing how the most difficult years can also blossom into the most beautiful, the mundane can switch tracks to the adventurous.
Because that’s what you’ve been.

Honestly, you linger to say goodbye. You got one chance at living this last teenage year, and you know there were so many opportunities you didn’t take, many more hugs you should’ve given, more conversations you wanted to have, more smiles and laughs you could’ve unleashed, and more lessons you wish you had learned and embraced better.
But you, nineteen, were golden. And silvered. And bronzed.

Even if you really really could, you wouldn’t go back and live it over again, because * “I don’t live the same year 75 times and call it a life.” You’re called to a new year, to move on. To look ahead, not just looking back. You’re grateful to the Lord for such a year as this.

You skip ahead with excitement to the twenty-year-old you. You don’t know anything about it, you’re a newbie. You’ll have new stories to be acquainted with, and crazy moments of lessons you’ll wade through and come out looking anything but beautiful. But you are more than up for this challenge.
Because you’re here by His grace, you know God has new plans as this volume of childhood and teenage-hood closes and a new and unknown one unfolds.

Regardless how you’ve changed from last year to this, or how you change from this year to next, one thing is cemented, engraved, stamped and sealed on your heart. . .

 “Jesus Christ is the same, yesterday, and today and forever.”

H e b r e w s 13: 8

Most sincerely,

Almost twenty me

 

heart writing

366 Pages

January 1, 2016

 

Page 1 of 366.2015-12-28_0001

     As a new year dawns and begins to leave 2015 in the rearview mirror I find myself reflecting a good deal. Reflecting with joy, with a hint of sadness, saying goodbye to a year that held so, so much!
The pages are bursting out of the covers of 2015.

How does one (even a wordsmith) put into words the depth of thought, the fleeting moments of action, the unique personality of faces, and precious flurry of uncountable minutes that made up this year? One doesn’t, plainly put.
But to say it in short, I have been blessed. B l e s s e d.

Blessed to have had 365 days that I was able to stand, to breathe, to just live. Blessed that even in the moments when I just knew I couldn’t take another step, couldn’t handle another moment of something hard for fear of snapping in two under the weight. . . the Lord saw me through; gave me the breath to inhale/exhale and take another step.
But even more did He give me the needed relief of someone or something that cracked a smile, made the way of escape for a laugh, breaking the clouds for sunshine. Blessed also that He gave me so many moments of sunshine without clouds. 2 0 1 5. It’s been a year of, well, transition. The road forked, the road which was laid up to this point with the pavers of younger years, learning, forming a solid foundation, planting of seeds. This fork in the road is really just an extension of the old, continuing on; new pavers being laid each day.

The mortar being grace.

I love celebrating New Years. I always have. It’s more than just the celebration itself though, it acts as a kind of Thanksgiving Day for me. It’s a looking at the big picture of the entire year, remembering moments that I messed up, words that should have gone unsaid, actions that should’ve been taken, resolutions that didn’t quite happen. . . but oh, not stopping there. We would despair if we put a period right here. But no, there is GRACE! God’s grace in our lives, this is the exclamation point!

If we look close, we will see God’s fingerprints over the entire year as well. The moments he gave us assurance and victory, the opportunity and confidence to say a word that needed to be said, the ability to act when by ourselves we would have laid dormant, and maybe a resolution that wasn’t on our “list” but that He convicted us of maybe mid-year and chiseled away shaping us even until now.
So we do look back on the dimming year not with despair or frustration of the “should have’s” but with the eyes of thankfulness for the mercy of the Lord that was the only thing upholding us. Give thanks for this and buckle up equipped with faith for the new year peeking it’s head. We make resolutions, book lists, goals, qualities to work on, ideas to develop, but give ourselves grace. Make it a bullet point now that we will fail, we will stumble, but that the Lord is bigger than even those shortcomings.

Live with the daily reminder of His grace in our life story which he is weaving into a beautiful, unique pattern, comparable to no one else.

We may only see the back side of it, knots and tangles of 2015 that really just don’t make sense, 2016 will have those knots and tangles too. But He is at work, trust and also glorify Him.
Saying “hello” to a new year brings so much excitement, a feeling of mystery not knowing what each new day will bring. As I stride into this new year, it’s definitely with this enthusiasm in tow, ready to take on each day with the Lord directing my steps! I have come to notice these years are stepping stone years for me. Each day may just be a little step, a little lesson, and little progress, nothing all that grand looking back when they have become a week.
But in the span of a year, how much progression then? He uses even the small & unnoticeable moments as building blocks even just as He can use me, weak vessel that I am. I want to keep this as a doorpost, written on the tablet of my heart even when the excitement of the new year beginning fades and the normality of life sets in.

2016. This year there are 366 days to fill, it’s a gift. Do you see it? It’s a beautiful and wonderful opportunity before you, what will you do with it? Let us live it to it’s fullest, for Him!

W E L C O M E  2 0 1 6!!!

 

heart writing

||Septemberish

September 9, 2015

The brewing breeze subtly arrives. The clap of thunder, crescendo. The harmonious patter, like tiny feet on cobblestone, raindrops on the first fallen russet leaves. September thunderstorm.
Septemberish ||  resembling or characteristic of September.

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     September ushers in the new, leaving us to reminisce the old. Summer. With it comes change, vibrance, a harmony of spirit. A warmth of heart.Watching an autumn thunderstorm roll in this afternoon reminded me of the change. I am seeing all around me, not just in regards to Creation, but also in life.

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For me, personally, it means a lot of new changes, an adjustment to what I’m accustomed.  Life is different this September. But beautifully different.

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     Numerous brown boxes that smell of unattained learning have been delivered at our doorstep the past week, I watch in a different thrill of excitement as my siblings unpack their stacks of books to begin the new school year. I feel the excitement for them, a sense of wonderment. It’s a feeling I will always remember and always want to. I see the familiar light in my little brother’s brown eyes at the thought of starting his first day of 4th grade, his animated talk that “I’m learning cursive!” It’s a memory that’s being made.

This year, instead of having a box delivered at my door crying “Read me!” I’m embarking on the quest to search out the skills and learning I want to acquire under my belt. Bittersweet it is at times to think those “school book-filled box” delivery days are over, but it is with a renewed excitement that I start on this new road of change.

It will be a challenge. Self-discipline, motivation and productivity will be hurdles to jump as a whole day is laid out before me with not a grid in sight. It’s overwhelming at moments to look at the limitless list I’ve scribbled down over the past year at the skills I want to tackle and wonder where to begin.
It’s an uncertainty that I see most high-school graduates facing. . . what am I going to do with my life? All those grand plans we make as fourteen and fifteen year olds suddenly, as eighteen year olds, seem not the path to take.

 

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September. It’s a new season, in all definitions of the word. I don’t have everything figured out. Honestly, who does? It’s an opportunity to seize this season day-by-day for God’s glory,
to not waste one moment, to ramp up our toolboxes with tools we will use the rest of our lives.
It’s not easy, no one ever said it would be.

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The thunderstorm passed all too quickly this afternoon, the only remembrances of it being the damp leaves that even by tomorrow will not leave a trace of it’s existence. But the rain nourished the earth.
So is this young season. It will pass all too quickly. We have the opportunity before us learn the things that will push us forward, to grow. In later seasoned years we will look back with thankfulness or with regret on this season. Did we seize it?

September. A time of beautiful change.
Relying on God’s grace alone I strive to move forward in this exciting season. 

“Instruct those who are rich in this present world not to be conceited or to fix their hope on the uncertainty of riches, but on God, who richly supplies us with all things to enjoy. Instruct them to do good, to be rich in good works, to be generous and ready to share, storing up for themselves the treasure of a good foundation for the future, so that they may take hold of that which is life indeed.”
|| 1 Timothy 6:17-19